Surprising Sentiment

The past two days have been very long.  We had parent/teacher conferences at my school until 730 both evenings and I am truly exhausted!  But I want to share a surprising sentiment that overcame me this evening as I was finishing up my conferences.

First off, I have talked many times on my blog this school year about how this has been the most difficult year I have had teaching so far.  I have a very big class, with lots of personalities within it.  I have felt really discouraged many times this year, mostly because I have felt that many of my students have not yet shown me their full potential.  I told that to many of the parents I met with the past two evenings, and most of them concurred.

But as I was finishing up this evening, I was overwhelmed with a feeling of satisfaction.  I know each of my students this year on a level that I haven't known any other class before.  I know about their home lives, their struggles, their victories, and their accomplishments in a deeper way than I've known my previous students.  This is most likely because I have had to work really hard to connect with them so that I can keep even the slightest bit of control in my classroom!  I was able to really connect with the parents I met with, mostly because I know their child so well.  I was able to tell parents about their student's accomplishments and how well many of them are doing.  I conducted most of my conferences with a big smile on my face!  I felt good telling [most of] my parents how proud I was of them!  My bucket is certainly full!

I just wanted to share my smile with you! :-)

Pick up the shovel and fill them.

Never in my schooling do I remember being a part of a 'small group'.  I don't remember 'intervention' or 'remediation' time during the day.

I don't remember being one-on-one with any teacher, ever in my entire schooling.  I am SO glad that things have changed.

Let's be honest.  Teaching (effectively) with 27 students in my room is difficult.  About 68 times during each lesson I have to remind my students to stay on task, to stop getting distracted, to put something away, to stop throwing paper at each other, to stop talking to their neighbor, etc.  My small group time is a life saver.

If it weren't for small groups I really wouldn't have a clue what most of my students actually know.  Being consistent about meeting with each of my students on a regular basis to just go over the basics of what they've been learning has been so great to me and my success as a teacher.  I don't form actual 'remediation' groups.  I figure out which students don't "get it" as I am teaching the lesson and they end up at my table that afternoon.

I love the quote in the picture.  It reminds me why small groups and meeting one-on-one is so important.  Sometimes my students just need that extra "umph" to get over the hump and have that 'ah-ha' moment we as teachers strive to see.  Some understand a concept immediately and some take weeks to finally master it.  Some even longer than that.

As teachers, we must remember that every student is different.  Therefore, how we teach must reflect that.  We must figure out multiple ways to explain one concept.  We must cater to all the different learning styles in our classroom.  We must sometimes allow students to fail so that we truly know where to find the 'holes' in their learning and figure out how to help them.

As I completed my Response to Intervention testing and papers this week I realized I have so many students with many unique needs.  I still have students who are on the phonics continuum.  I have students who can't do simple division.  I have students who have no number sense.  As a fifth grade teacher, this is just slightly frustrating.

It is my job to find these holes in their educational file cabinet and fill them.  Not every student learns at the same time, or in the same way.  As much as we wish they did, they simply don't.

It is time to take responsibility for these student's 'holes', pick up the shovel and fill them.

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My Bucket is (finally) Full Again.

I desperately needed this weekend.  I needed downtime, family time, a day without school and a long nap!  I needed a day with laughs, and even a couple cries.  I needed to remember that I am not only a teacher; First and foremost I am a wife and a mother.  I tend to forget those sometimes.  How can I forget to put the most important things in my life first?

Well, to understand that, you have to be a teacher.

For 8 hours a day, I am a mother, nurse, counselor, mentor, and teacher to 26 kids who I did not carry for nine months, nor did I raise them to be the people they are at this point in their lives.  They are not my own, but I claim them as mine.  They are mine for only 9 short months, but within these first 3 weeks, (even with all of the voice-raising and frustration on my part), I am growing to love them as my own.  I have 9 months to shape them.  To teach them.  To model love and citizenship for them.  To set an example of what a good person is.  To teach them that even when no one in the world encourages them or tells them they can succeed, that I truly believe they can.

Is this easy?  No.  It is by far the hardest job I've ever had.  Being a mommy to my own baby girl is hard, but being a mother hen to 26 students for the entire school year is harder.  Why?  Because loving my daughter comes easily.  It is a God-given, unfailing love.  Growing to love new students every year is hard.  It grows through steady relationship building, good times, and lots of hard times.  It is sacrifice, planning, organizing, encouraging, motivating, and teaching.  I grow to love my kiddos every year.  It will happen this year, it is just taking a little more time.

I was empty.  I was completely drained in almost all aspects of my life.  I needed this weekend to fill my bucket...to fill me up when I had completely drained myself.  Implementing Common Core, a new teacher evaluation system, and trying to do 1000 things at once had me worn down to my core.

But I am better.  I needed to be reminded that no matter what, I am a wife and a mother FIRST.  School can wait.  Grading papers, making necessary changes to curriculum and my classroom can wait.  Mastering every procedure and making parent phone calls can wait.

My daughter and husband can't.

I am grateful for the reminder that 'we make time for what we love'.

Don't forget to put what you love first.

Jamie
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